Monday, April 25, 2011

The Problem with Mike Conley

Mike Conley! I'm calling you out! How did you ever get that shiny new contract? I mean, you only shot 44% from the field this season. Tony Parker shot can you look in the mirror shooting under .500? So not everyone's a lights out shooter, but what do you do? Ok, your points and assists per game have improved marginally every year in the league. This is your fourth season, why aren't you a superstar already? Rondo's a superstar, so is Westbrook and Derek Rose. This is the age of the point guard...where are you? You're slacking man!

You were picked fourth owe me, and everyone else, more than you're giving. Yes, you run the Grizzlies offense beautifully, spreading the ball around to all your weapons, finding the hot-hand and rarely making a bad decision or taking a bad shot. You think that's enough to make you a good player? You think that makes you worth $5 million a year? You got another thing coming man. I never see you on Sportcenter and you've never done something I haven't seen before. I could care less that you're the primary ball-handler on a Grizzlies team that has the #1 ranked Spurs one game from elimination.

I know what all you irrational Conley fans are thinking. "But Mike's got more assists and rebounds than the great Tony Parker...he's more than holding his own against one of the best point-guards in the NBA!" Get real. We all know there's only one stat gets you paid and that's points, where TP is outscoring Conley by 2 points per game. Are you fools even watching these games? Watch TP score in the paint over and over with his spins and floaters and tell me he's getting outplayed. All Mike Conley does is move the ball on to the next. Anyone can pass a ball. Putting the ball in the right guy's hands on point and on time is not that hard. I mean, even Mike Conley can do it all day.

I don’t watch basketball to see guys who are thinking the game and keep it simple. I’m trying to see someone jump out of the damn gym, someone who the camera can’t even keep up with. The NBA is where amazing happens. You do not amaze me, Mike Conley. That’s fine if you’re a tough guy or a hustler, but you’re a point-guard! You are supposed to thrill me. You never thrill me. Your handle is good, not great. You can shoot alright. You're just the guy passing to the guy. So you’re in the top-10 in steals…so what? You never dunk 'em anyway.

There's a reason you get no respect, and why your new contract was widely ridiculed as yet another piece of bone-headed Grizzlies’ business. Even so, I thought it was important to point out to people just how unspectacular you are...$5 million? Really? The Grizzlies’ must be idiots with no basketball sense to give you that contract. Either that…or I’m an idiot with no basketball sense and you know that's not true.